I’ve been toying with the idea of heeding the government’s “Go South” policy this weekend by taking a trip to someplace like Tainan, where Steve and his wife Irene live. Whether or not the weather will cooperate is anyone’s guess, and Steve probably has better things to do than show me around the area. Still, it would be nice to get on a train bound for a relatively faraway place. Something soothing about that, for some reason. I’ve always preferred trains to buses in this respect, not just for the smoother ride but also for the stronger dedication to the concept of travel a train has over a bus. A train is a solid part of a travel system, always going somewhere no matter whether you’re on it or not, whereas a bus is just a large car that can get caught in a traffic jam, pull over for lunch or to pick someone up at any time. And the driver of a bus is just some guy, whereas the driver of a train is an engineer. Worlds of difference there.

Harry came over this evening so that I could help him extract himself and one of his sisters from a pyramid scheme another of his sister had gotten them into. If they didn’t get out quick, the people from the Home Shopping Channel/Network/bazaar/whatever were going to come to their house in Sanchong demanding either money or some kind of living sacrifice, so I helped them navigate the website and cancel their “membership”. When he first asked me what I thought of the scheme, I stared at the screen for a moment and then said “that’s no moon” but he didn’t get it. Then I tried “I have a bad feeling about this” and he got the picture. Their older sister is going to tough it out in the hope of riches working from home, however. Good luck.

Last night I met up with Dean, Mindcrime, Alien and Brian at the Shannon, a place I should probably avoid due to the price and the food, among other things. Once the group grew to over six people, however, all of the social misfits fell out of the conversation and had to leave, so Mindcrime and I went to the Xuliushan on Civic Blvd for Mango-related desserts. Mmmmmmmango!

Got a couple more Mirror Project photos up. Go have a gander.

It’s been a year.

I haven’t talked much about the whole issue, partly because I don’t think I’m qualified, but also because I saw equal amounts of idiocy on both sides of the fence, too much mud in what should have been a clear-cut affair. Also, more than a few of my favorite blogs quickly became unreadable after 9/11 because the authors began wallowing in useless propaganda and lost their attraction. I didn’t want that to happen here, and I couldn’t have pulled it off anyway. I will continue to whinge about my own, petty life here in Taipei. But today I thought I would write something perhaps a little more relevant to the subject on most people’s minds today.

When I was in New York in 1999, studying filmmaking, the twin towers were always there. I never went up to the top, preferring the much-romanticized Empire State Building observation deck instead, but we did go inside the WTC and film downstairs. The towers loomed over me as I shot many a scene in lower Manhattan. I couldn’t get my mind around them being gone last year, and I still can’t quite do it today. The very idea that someone would…ok, again, I don’t wish to get into a rant here. Plenty of other websites have been churning out the same for the last trip around the sun, and will continue to do so. All I can honestly say is that I wish the kind of people who carried out the attacks didn’t exist.

For a whole year I’ve tried to see this whole thing from the other side, tried to discover some kind of reason behind the attacks, read a lot of articles and opinions. I have to admit, however, that I’ve completely failed. I can’t find any scrap of evidence strong enough to sway me from my opinion that the people who planned and carried out 9/11 are…well, words fail me. The whole ‘dregs of humanity’ shtick still contains the word ‘humanity’, and I can’t find any evidence of that in their actions. I’ve also tried to find space in my head for the idea that this whole thing should be resolved politically and without bloodshed, but again I’ve come up against a wall. I don’t agree with many of the curtails of rights in the US. I was dismayed to find that W had been voted president by the Supreme Court, but no matter what I think of the man, he’s the one in the hot seat. I’m hoping that the worst is overwith, but something tells me it’s not. It could very well be that the peace and stability the world has experienced during the first three decades of my life were more of an aberration than the status quo my generation has assumed it to be.

Sure enough, the people at the clinic had a sneaking suspicion that I had had two cake doughnuts the day before, and told me to “knock it off”. That was annoying, but apparently I’m still in basically the same shape I was in two years ago, except larger. No surprises really, which is always a good thing at a physical.

The weather today was beautiful, with a refreshing wind and mostly clear skies. It feels as if another typhoon is approaching, actually, with really clear light perfect for taking pictures in the late afternoon. It made me want to eschew the MRT system and ride my bike out to some scenic spot to watch the sunset, although it was too late for that when the thought struck me. I was waiting for the light to turn at the intersection of Dunhua South and Xinyi Roads. They were putting in new curbs for the bus lanes; I was etching my initials in the fresh concrete. Afterwards I went to United Mix, had a salad and refrained from an Oreo Shake, the doctors’ words still ringing in my ears. From now on it’s red wine only and less doughnuts for a slimmer, more compact Poagao to go with your modern life!

I think I stayed at the advertising company a little too long.

Berta came back from her trip to the US last night, bearing Krispy Kreme doughnuts, which she bestowed upon my undeserving self today at lunch. We went to The Mall at the Far Eastern Hotel, and I found a restaurant that served milk to go with the doughnuts, which were frosted cake doughnuts and extremely delicious. My taste buds were having little orgasms the whole time, and no woman has ever managed to give any part of me an orgasm before. Thanks, Berta!

My annual physical exam is tomorrow afternoon, after work. I’m sure they’ll somehow know that I had the doughnuts, and they’ll probably corner me in some little room with the accusation, and I’ll have to sign a statement that I will never do it again, but oh, was it worth it.

Sunday was spent mostly at Juke, the former Jake’s, reading through The Maltese Falcon in the midst of the heavy brunch crowd. I kept having to stifle laughter at the ludicrousness of the situation: everyone around us was having normal conversations, while we were calling each other “dollface” and slapping each other around. Needless to say I don’t have a major part, if any part at all in this thing, although the movie’s one of my all-time favorites. I might be one of the cops. Preferably the Bad Cop in the “Good Cop/Bad Cop” couple, but if we can’t find anyone else, I might end up playing the Schizophrenic Cop.

Afterwards I had dinner at United Mix. The more I go to that place, the more I like it. I like the food, as long as the waitresses get my order right, and I like the relatively quiet, relaxed atmosphere, especially out on the front porch. I also like that it’s just down the street from me, and the people who work there are always friendly. Sure, they get their fair share of pretentious people, but that’s to be expected in that part of town.

The typhoon turned out to be “just kidding” about causing all kinds of natural disasters here, I think it said in a press release. The weather’s been cool and pleasant pretty much the whole time it was supposedly lashing the island. The turtles in the cage outside my window didn’t even get wet. So much for the typhoon season. Who knows if there are any more in store for us? How can we know if they’re serious or just mocking us? We need a meteoropsychologist in here, stat!

Still, it was good for a day off from work on Friday, so I didn’t have to wear Ze Zoot again. I might have to again at some point in the future, though, and if I think I can get away with it, I am going to wear the fedora and talk like someone with an unlikely nickname from the 30’s. I spent most of Friday lying around, except for when I went out for lunch and mango slushes with Mindcrime. I tried to watch The Royal Tenenbaums, the film that dares answer the burning question “What would happen if we put all of the actors in the middle of the frame?” and Saving Silverman, aka “Evil Woman” in Taiwan, but I couldn’t get through either one. I did manage to get through Crimson Pig, which is an animated piece by the makers of Totoro. I liked Totoro better.

Today I did a bit more unpacking. It will be weeks, nay, months before everything is out of boxes and in its place here. Just for fun I went to a real estate place around the corner and asked the guy what I could get in the neighborhood for around 10k a month. He just shook his head and said “Nothing. There’s nothing available in this area for anywhere near that cheap.” Au contraire! I wanted to say, I’ve got a 12-ping apartment for just 8k! Ha! But I didn’t say that; I just thanked him and left. He could have just made fun of me for not having an elevator anyway.

Since we had Friday off, Saturday felt like Sunday. Taijiquan practice wasn’t too bad. At one point the teacher had us in a particular pose when he said “Now hold that for half an hour.” It was supposed to be an exercise in Qi, for since I am an undisciplined lout, it quickly because an exercise in Thinking for Half and Hour about What I Wanted to Eat for Dinner Later. Which is probably just as good.

Something’s been bothering me lately: I can’t for the life of me figure out how the “X-10” camera is able to summon dripping wet supermodels out of the ether for particularly gullible men to watch on their computer monitors. Are these women being paid to adopt ridiculous poses and jumping up and down as if on trampolines in various unremarkable living rooms? Do they have anything at all to do with the camera? Why are they all looking at the camera, anyway? Do they know it’s there? Isn’t the whole point of the thing its ability to go undetected? I must admit that I’m at a complete loss. It’s the toughest problem since the one about Adam and Eve having navels or not. There, now you won’t be able to sleep tonight, either.

It dawned on me last night as I got off work (yes, I was called in on my day off) that, since I was to attend a conference in the name of my job today, I probably needed a suit. That is, a new suit. The only suit I’ve ever had is one my parents bought for me at Sears as a high school graduation gift. I was so skinny then that I got a double-breasted job to make me look more substantial. Oh the irony, I know. Needless to say I should donate it to charity at this point. I’ve never liked wearing suits, and so I wasn’t happy that I had to spend my own money on another one.

I went over to the Sunrise Department Store across the street. Surely I could buy a suit there, I thought. It’s a cheap, second-class department store, and wouldn’t be as expensive as Sogo or Mitsukoshi. When I had made my way past all of the women-oriented merchandise, which made up most of the store, I asked a clerk how much their cheapest suit was.

“Twenty thous-”

“Thanks. Bye.” I hastily retreated before the clerk could finish his mandatory “Your Chinese is so good!” and found another store where they had a sale on baggy gray Italian suits that would go well with a fedora. I picked one out, plus a shirt and tie, and handed it over to the saleslady, who asked me why purchasing a suit required so much growling on my part. “I don’t like wearing suits,” I growled at her as I handed over my visa card. “And I especially don’t like spending my own money on suits.”

That ordeal overwith, I joined Dean, Mindcrime, Graham, Brian and several random women at the Shannon. This time we met in the Olde Celtic portion of the bar, next to the fake fireplace. I was wishing for a real fire before long, as they had turned down the A/C until I swear there was frost on the inside of the windows. My friends wondered at the fact that I had actually bought a suit, not quite believing their eyes. TC, all respectable and shit? Damn!

I woke up this morning to news that a typhoon was on its way, but nothing had been cancelled, so I took the MRT up to the Grand Hotel, where I met my friend Mark and sat through several boring lectures and presentations by people with all of the speaking skills of a Doobie Brother. Graham wanted me to take a picture of myself in The Zoot Suit. Yeah, laugh it up, fuzzball.

Lunch was free, which was nice, although the staff at the Grand Hotel are still operating under the amusing delusion that they are they only real hotel in town. It’s like they’ve all been hypnotized into thinking that the Hyatt and the Hilton simply don’t exist, or if they do, just don’t measure up. Mark and I were just sitting down at a table when the hostess came over and scolded us. “You can’t sit there!” she barked. “Sit over there with the rest of the APEC scum!” Harsh, that. Still, the pie was delicious.

When we finally got out of the conference, the sun was shining, and there was no typhoon to be seen, so we walked back to the MRT station and took a train back downtown. Just as I was walking home, looking forward to ditching the monkey suit, Mindcrime called. He wanted to eat at the Shannon again. It seems that he was quite enamoured with the Irish Stew there, so I met him over there after I had changed back into normal clothes. Out of curiosity, I had the stew as well, and I have to say that, no matter how much they may screw up the other items on their menu, the people at the Shannon can make a mean Irish Stew. I’d go back more often if it weren’t so arm-wrenchingly expensive, however.

After dinner I went to the nearest Blockbuster to rent some DVDs. The store was practically empty when I arrived, but when I made my way downstairs to check out my selections, the place was packed. It seems that while I was up there the government announced that school and work have been cancelled tomorrow for Taipei city and county. I assume this means that I don’t have to go to the rest of the conference tomorrow, although I will call in the morning to make sure. I’ve stocked up on ice-cream sandwiches, though, just in case I’m trapped in a flood and have to bribe rats to let me up the fire escape ladder.

Yesterday was the first day of my new work schedule, the more-or-less permanent one. I slept late and went to work at 2pm. Got off at 5pm. It felt pretty normal. But today I went in at 9am and worked until noon. At noon I took the elevator downstairs, walked outside, and was immediately floored by the paradigm-shifting reality of getting off work at noon.

“I don’t have to go back to work today,” I informed a woman walking by. She quickened her pace, staring nervously over her shoulder to see if I was following her. “I don’t have to go to work tomorrow at all!” I exclaimed gleefully to a man in a suit, who took out his cellphone and began to dial emergency numbers while keeping an eye on me. I didn’t care. I wandered through the alleyways, went to Ikea to buy a clock, took it home and then went to the West Gate District to look at digital video cameras, all the while savoring my new-found freedom. Yeah, it cost me a slice of my salary and a take-home check most foreigners here wouldn’t find acceptable, but I can get by on it fine. I’ve gotten by on far less in the past. When I was working at TVBS as a cameraman I made still less than I am making now, although my rent was more than I am paying now at the Chungking Mansions Taipei.

The weather today accompanied my mood. There’s actually a bit of autumn in the air these days, if not a definite coolness, at least a bit of non-heat-stroke inducing temperatures, which is a refreshing change. I jumped in a cab at one point (because I actually wanted to go somewhere, not just because I felt like it; I wasn’t feeling quite that silly today) and found that my driver’s name sounded exactly like that of the Mayor of Kaohsiung, Xie Chang-ting. “Call me Mr. Mayor!” he told me. He seemed in as good a mood as I was and proceeded to tell me how he should actually run for mayor of Taipei. “Everyone knows that Ma Ying-jeou is going to win, but you could vote for me anyway, right? It’s just one vote.”

“Sure, I’ll vote for you,” I replied. “That is, unless I’m running myself.” He chuckled at this.

It had been a while since I’d been around the old city center, and I was surprised to see that nearly a block of old buildings had been torn down in favor of a monstrous new building along Heng-yang Street. Even more surprising was the fact that the developers had elected to keep the old Japanese-era storefronts along the road, or at least reasonable replicas thereof. The finished product should be interesting. I’ve often wondered what it would be like to live over there, within the old city walls. It’s not a very residential area, however, and it’s a bit too close to the West Gate District for me these days. Still, all of the remaining old faux European-style buildings are quite interesting, and even a bit sad, sandwiched as they are between the ugly monoliths leftover from the 70’s.

It didn’t take me long to establish that the price of the Sony VX2000 hasn’t dropped an iota in the two years I’ve been considering buying one. The GL2 is even more expensive, and I didn’t actually see any for sale. Hopefully there will be some available soon, however. It only came out in the states not long ago, and hopefully the price will drop once it’s not ‘just out’ anymore. Perhaps by that time the G4s will be cheaper as well. One can hope.

Last night I took a bath in my bathtub. It’s been years since I’ve had a proper bathtub, so I decided to make an event of it. I lit an incense candle, put on some opera followed by some jazz, and just lay back in the stone tub and soaked in the hot water for exactly as long as I felt like it. I realize that this is a very un-TC-like thing to do, but I’ve got to do something to keep you guys guessing.

I went hiking around Muzha for most of this afternoon and then went browsing at the Dun-nan Eslite. Since Boogie lives nearby, I thought I would pay him a visit and check out his shiny new Mac G4. He’s still doing TV shows and promoting his series of English-teaching books, and he played a few of his latest songs for me. They’re pretty funny songs. His wife Amanda is coming back to Taiwan around Chinese New Year, and they plan to move out of their tiny room off of Ren-ai Road as soon as they have a kid. I used to drool over his place, but it seems small and cramped now. It’s still a good location, though, and at least he has an elevator.

Afterwards I came back home and sat through Bridget Jones’ Drivel. I know this sounds hypocritical, but I couldn’t find any redeeming factor in this film. Sure, you’re saying, but you write drivel in here every day! Yeah, but I don’t go make millions of people sit through an excruciating movie based on my drivel, now do I? At least mine would be suitably bizarre. Perhaps it’s my distinct lack of appreciation for Renee Zwelliger. I haven’t liked her any other of her movies either.

I did manage to finish the Chungking Mansions Taipei page as a replacement for my previous room-oriented page. Go take a tour of my new digs.

The Oriented Happy Hour was last Thursday. The Chillhouse, where it was being held, looked completely stuffed with people, most of which were wearing suits and ties. I continued down the street to the Subway for dinner before making another pass. This time Alien flagged me down and dragged me inside. There I found a couple of friends I hadn’t seen in a while. One of them was Cranky Laowai, who graciously and in stark contrast to his moniker put an entry on the damn book on his website. Time flew and before I knew it I was late to meet Mindcrime at our usual teashop behind Sogo. I called but he was already leaving. Oops.

On Friday I went down to check out the new “Irish pub” next to Dan Ryan’s. It’s called the Shannon and is comprised of several different types of pubs, all in one. All they need is a waterway with boats for tourists and it would be “It’s a Small Isle After All”. There’s a traditional pub, an olde celtic pub, a fancy leather pub, and the bar. It’s actually quite nice, but extremely overpriced. I met Dean, Random Gavin, Carl, and Jerome there. Carl, after making certain astute observations on the way Dean walks, gave me some good writing advice to distract me from the extraordinary numbers written on the bill, and Random Gavin owes me a Guiness Pie at Sean’s after seeing the cup-o-soup effort of the Shannon.

Yesterday was spent waiting for the adsl guy to come round, followed by a meal and Taijiquan practice. Now it’s just past noon on a lazy, wet Sunday. A heavy rainstorm just brushed through, so I don’t need the air conditioning. Listening to the rain outside was so pleasant I just lay in bed all morning. Now that I have Internet access here I’ll get a Chungking Mansions Taipei page up on my website before too long; I just need to take a few more pictures. I wish I knew more about the history of this old building, and some old pictures of it would be nice, too. Harry came over last night to inspect my new quarters. We had dumplings at one of the places downstairs last night; it was pretty good. One of the perks of living above a small night market.

Tomorrow I begin my normal work schedule, although there’s a conference at the end of the week which will demand overtime and possibly a suit and tie. I was told that I don’t have to go, but I am curious as to what exactly goes on at these things. There might also be free food as well, which is almost always a good thing. I did also manage to get a decent computer at work. They retired the old P133, which was still kicking feebily and moaning after a bout with a flash page, and replaced it with a PIII/800 that laughs in the face of rendering adversity. Well, maybe not, but it’s still a step in the right direction.