Poagao's Journal

Absolutely Not Your Monkey

Feb 21 2002

This morning on my way in to work, I chose to take…

This morning on my way in to work, I chose to take Heping East Road and turn on to Jilong Road, where I promptly got into a three-way drag race with a new NSR and one of those “Jing” hippy bikes. Of course I beat the Jing, since it’s a four-stroke engine that sounds nice but can’t match an equivalent two-stroke for power, especially with all of that weight, but I shouldn’t have stood a chance against the NSR, which is has larger, more powerful engine rather than 14 years of hard use like my bike. I guess the rider had just bought it and was still getting used to it or something.

I’ve been wondering what drives those IQC bitches who keep messaging me and begging me to watch their webcams, so today I had an interesting conversation with one of them:

705485: hey its Elsa…do you want to make you cum tonight? 😉

Poagao: Hey, Elsa…do you want me to come over and bludgeon you in your sleep tonight? 😉

705485: I’m Elsa, I love to have people watch me get naked in front of my computer. So I decided to create my own website that allows everyone to watch me via my new webcam.

http://elsaisacow.servers.com/webcam.html

Poagao: Good! Now where can I find you? Don’t call the police now!

705485: I live in Chestertown Maryland… come and check me out 😉 http://elsalikesjohnashcroft.servers.com/webcam.html

Poagao: Ok, I’ll just be sharpening my Gin-sus…

705485: Watch me play with myself via my new webcam

http://elsasnoseismichaeljacksonfacialsurguryleftovers.servers.com/webcam.html

Poagao: Your audience doesn’t mind a little blood ‘n intestines play, does it? You got a fridge? Or at least an air freshener?

705485: I love to have people watch me get naked in front of my computer. So I decided to create my own website that allows everyone to watch me via my new webcam.

http://elsahelpsterroristsdecorate.servers.com/webcam.html

Poagao: So I don’t need the scissors, just the axe, cleaver and “meat tenderizer”? Ok, got it.

Just between you and me, I don’t think Elsa is the sharpest knife in the drawer. She just didn’t seem to be following me very well. No sense of humor, either.

Here’s an interesting situation: All upper management types get desks next to the windows. Most of the upper management here at our company are Taiwanese women. Most Taiwanese women are obsessed with having white skin and shun sunlight like vampires. The result? Yep, you guessed it: the minute these people come in they drop the blinds and shut out any view or sunlight from the outside, making my workplace refreshingly dungeonlike.

Managers also like to bring their stereos to work and blast really bad music so that everyone can hear it, often in “repeat” mode, which is particularly maddening. I don’t know why they assume this isn’t annoying the hell out of everyone, but I’m working on a plan involving shock therapy/sabotage to resolve the situation. Hopefully this time I won’t get caught. My whole disabling-other-peoples-cellphones plan would have worked too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids!

posted by Poagao at 10:24 am  

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