Poagao's Journal

Absolutely Not Your Monkey

Feb 11 2002

Happy Chinese New Year. It’s now the Year of the H…

Happy Chinese New Year. It’s now the Year of the Horse. Fireworks are going off outside in the park. I remember the fireworks from when I lived in Hsinchu. My situation now is better than it was then. I just got back from an enjoyable evening at Bret’s, where four of us had a delicious dinner, chatting, wine and Queer as Folk DVDs. Queer as Folk put me off for the first few minutes, but then I started kind of getting into it, and now I want to watch the rest of the episodes, including the original British version, because I’m curious.

I’m feeling a bit down. I suppose that it’s a measure of how Chinese I’ve become that I feel more depressed coming home to an empty room on Chinese New Year’s than I do coming home to an empty room on Christmas/my birthday. But perhaps I would be depressed no matter what, and having a significant other might just make things worse. Perhaps if I tell myself that enough I’ll start to believe it, too.

I didn’t manage to get any work done again today, unfortunately. The more I think about it the more I doubt whether I’ll be able to accomplish anything at the book expo. I’ll still go, of course, because I have to try at least, but I really don’t know what I’m doing here. Completely out of my depth, in other words. How do other authors do it, apart from having faith that their works are worth selling? I have no clue.

I’m going to have to get a lot done tomorrow and the next day. Dean’s getting back on the 14th, and he promised to help me with my proposal, which is still not finished. To quote virtually every character in the Star Wars films, “I’ve got a back feeling about this.” Fortunately, I get a bad feeling about most things that actually turn out ok in the end. Come to think of it, things ended up ok for the people in Star Wars, too. Maybe they were on to something there.

In other news, it’s now officially a month since I got my eyes zapped. This means that I can now officially sleep without eye covers, wash my hair and face, and even perhaps ride my motorcycle, thus saving me lots of money in cab fares. I still need to keep my eyes from getting too tired by staring less at this monitor and more at yonder green hills. Or at least yonder billboards. Or just yonder.

posted by Poagao at 5:11 pm  

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