Poagao's Journal

Absolutely Not Your Monkey

Aug 14 2001

I was feeling good this morning when I came into w…

I was feeling good this morning when I came into work. The weather today is nice, my sushi roll-and-kiwi juice breakfast tasted good, and traffice was fairly light. I got to my desk, turned on my computer and checked my email. There was a message from the woman at the place I want to work.

Sorry, we only have one position. Good luck.

I am not amused. Oh, I realize that it’s not that bad. I already have a job, even if it doesn’t pay very well and I hate it. It could be a lot worse. But I wonder if I wasn’t being paranoid after all, that the guy who had the long interview and hung around the office afterwards did actually have some sort of connection. If not, he’d better be damn well qualified. His Chinese and Taiwanese had better be every bit as flawless as his native English, he’d better have been in Taiwan for at least 20 years, and been an editor for at least five of those years…but in reality it doesn’t really matter. If my experience and abilities aren’t good enough now, they never will be. This is as far as I can go in this direction, and this is not very far. I don’t have the time right now to do what I want to do, and I have no way to making time without leaving this job, and if I leave this job, I won’t have anywhere to go. The job I was going for was going to be my big Next Step, and now it’s fallen through. I have no idea where I can go from here. Maybe that will be a good thing in the long run, but right now it just makes me feel miserable. I just feel like slipping into a crack somewhere and disappearing.

But I can’t do that. Right now I have to decide, since I’m stuck at this crappy job that’s not crappy enough to leave without some better way of feeding myself, is whether I take two weeks and go somewhere (no idea where I could go for two weeks, actually) and then take the company trip to Hong Kong, or just take a month off and go to someplace like Australia or Europe, because I sure as hell can’t take much more of this without a vacation of some sort. Looks like I’ll be here when we move to our new offices over next door to the Warner Village Cinema next year, too. At least I’ll be able to see more movies.

Xiao Bing is coming over tonight. I haven’t seen him in a while, so it will be good to catch up, even though I’m probably not in the best of moods right now. If Dean were in the country I would go out drinking with him and get completely smashed, but he’s not. Unfortunately I don’t know too many other people I can get drunk with.

There’s a guy whose English name is “Rocky” sitting nearby, and Whiny Woman works with him a lot. When she wants to talk to him she always whines “Hey, Rocky!”

Whiny Woman: Hey, Rocky! How’d you like see me pull this account out of my ass?”

Rocky: Again?

I just may start calling her Bullwinkle.

posted by Poagao at 3:44 am  

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