Poagao's Journal

Absolutely Not Your Monkey

May 26 2006

Screw Chuck Mangione

Screw Chuck Mangione

posted by Poagao at 2:23 pm  
May 26 2006

So I went to pay my taxes this year. The year befo…

So I went to pay my taxes this year. The year before last, as my employer back then didn’t take anything out of my paycheck, I got completely raped at the tax office. Last year I just about broke even. This year I was expecting a return. People I know who make as much and more than I do had been reporting nice chunky tax returns, so naturally I had high expectations.

Turns out I just about broke even again. Oh, well. One thing that made me feel a bit better, and also a bit worse: when I went to the bank downstairs at the tax office to pay my NT$500 due, I saw a couple hauling large packs of bills over the counter to the bank person. I looked and saw that the thick stacks of bills were NT$2000 notes. They took forever in the counting machine, but apparently the couple was paying about 1.3 gazillion dollars in taxes. While I was glad I only had to pay NT$500, I can only imagine what kind of income those people are pulling in. I should have asked him for stock tips.

In other news, I think I’ve learned how to be seen as a good badminton player (I know, you’ve been waiting on tenterhooks for this kind of news). According to my observation whilst playing game after game with the pug-nosed women, I’ve found that it has precious little to do with how well you actually play. It’s all about what you do when you mess up. If you don’t do anything and just keep playing, you’re a bad player. If, however, you say “Ai-ya!” and make a face that says you completely didn’t expect to miss that shot, that really easy shot you’d normally get without thinking about it, well, then you’re a good player. I suspect that it works this way with many other sports as well.

The weather’s hot and muggy, the cicadas are starting to sing; it’s the beginning of another summer, and that’s just fine. In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t really have anything to write about today; I just felt like writing.

posted by Poagao at 8:14 am  
May 21 2006

I got a chance to go to the top (well, nearly the …

I got a chance to go to the top (well, nearly the top) of the world’s tallest building yesterday. The Muddy Basin Ramblers were scheduled to play at a charity “climbathon” today, so we went up yesterday to have a look at the stage and setup.

I brought the washtub, which is cracking and may need a replacement soon, to the front door of Taipei 101 around noon to meet up with most of the rest of the band, and we went into the heaven-themed lobby. Everything is stark white, and I expected to see the guards wearing robes and little electric halos. I imagined that, when the elevator doors opened, little harps would play.

As it happened, we were to take a very tall, wood covered freight elevator that went so fast our ears popped. It turns out that Taipei 101 has the fastest elevators in the world, and having watched the floor numbers flash by at around four a second, I can believe it.

I brought my big Canon camera to take shots of the view, but the weather was pretty hazy and uninteresting. Still, I got a handful of shots that I put up on Flickr. At one point some window washers lowered themselves down across our view, which was interesting, at least at that height. As far as the setup went, we found that the washtub needed no microphone, as the wooden stage amplified the sound very nicely. The rest of us would do with a couple of condenser mics.

After most of the band went home, I stayed on in the hope of getting better light later in the day, but the light didn’t get too much better, and the sun vanished behind some clouds.

Last night I attended a barbeque at my friend Greg’s house. Greg and his housemates live right smack next to the air force cemetary not far from where I live. The landlord has been trying to sell it for years, but nobody will touch it. He can’t even rent it out to Taiwanese people; foreigners are the only ones who dare live in such proximity to the graveyard. I met a lot of interesting people, including a Russian family with whom I practiced my nearly non-existant Russian. It was a bit embarrasing, though they told me I still had a good accent, no doubt trying to make me feel better.

The meat and veggies were good, there weren’t many mosquitoes, and the air was fresh, making for quite a nice time. But I had to leave because for today’s event, we had to be back at 101 earlier in the morning. Sandman and I took a cab from Xindian due to the heat and Sandy’s tardiness. The square in front of 101 was crowded with mostly healthy looking would-be climbers. We went past them and on to the waiting elevator, prompting me to feel both relieved and yet slightly guilty. But not much. Nearby 9-5 peak is the same height, and I climbed that, so theoreticaly I could have climbed 101, but the notion of paying someone else to climb a stairwell full of that “new building” smell is a bit much, I think.

The 84th floor was already filled with successful climbers, and people were cheering new arrivals as we walked in. I heard someone say, “Did they climb all the way dressed like that?” Oddly enough, there was obscenely unhealthy food awaiting those who made it all the way up, including pound cakes, root beer and muffins. Some people dressed in costumes for the climb, things like muscle shirts, Elvis costumes and even one guy in a gorilla suit.

We were introduced by Rick Monday and played two short sets that went well enough. The last song we played was “Nagasaki”. David began playing his guitar, and a vague thought entered me head, that perhaps we had done an intro. By the time I realized I was supposed to play the intro, the awkward silence was already upon us, so I just stood there like an idiot for the duration. Oh, well. Space between the notes, and all that.

By the time we packed up and left it was only around 1pm, and Sandy and I got a taxi back to Bitan by around 2, so I decided to take the Crazy Bike out for a ride up the river. It was just about perfect weather for it, cloudy and not too hot. The air, however, was filled with tiny kamikaze bugs that loved to fly into one’s eyeballs and mouth. Needless to say I did a lot of spitting along the way, and my eyes are red from all the rubbing, but otherwise it was a nice ride. I went out almost to Tucheng and turned back. The worst thing about riding is arriving back in Bitan and having to dodge all the mouth-breathers who are shuffling across the suspension bridge. It never fails to upset me, though I tell myself to let it go. I should take the traffic bridge instead, but annoyance is still preferable to the outright terror or crossing a 9-way intersection on the Crazy Bike.

Picked up some rhoti, took a nice shower, and watched some West Wing: A very nice wrap-up for a busy weekend.

posted by Poagao at 2:17 pm  
May 17 2006

So I finally got another edition of News from the …

So I finally got another edition of News from the Renegade Province up, after many years. That’s seven issues in five years. Not a terribly prolific fake-newswriter, am I? That said, if I had some kind of impetus, such as writing for, oh, say The Daily Show, I bet I could squeeze out a few more.

In other news, I just got word that a certain fraternal relation o’ mine is running for office in Kentucky. I never actually expected Kevin to go into politics, but now that I think about it, he’s perfect for it. He was always the funny one in the family, he’s an ex-Navy officer, and he’s been a successful architect for many years. I wish him luck, even though he is a republican, heh.

The Muddy Basin Ramblers are playing for the Taipei 101 Climb-a-thon at the top of the World’s Tallest Building(c) this coming Sunday. People are actually going to climb up the steps for charity. I hope to take the elevator myself. After that we’ll be playing on June 10th at the Hoping for Hoping hippie/peace/love/beads music festival. Bring yer tie-dyes.

posted by Poagao at 4:39 am  
May 15 2006

We might have our first typhoon of the season, if …

We might have our first typhoon of the season, if it suddenly veers east and comes up the Taiwan Strait instead of heading for Hong Kong, as it’s predicted to.

In the meantime, the weather can’t seem to make up its mind. It’s been cool and rainy for the last few days, dashing any hopes I had for a ride on the Crazy Bike. I did take a ride in the rain last weekend, showing Sandman how to get to Gongguan, and then taking corners really fast until the front wheel lost traction and I crashed. Later I ran into some friends of mine who had rented some bikes. They were lost, and I tried to tell them where they were without making too big a deal about the blood dripping down my leg from the fall. I went on to ride up to Guandu and back, a nice long ride, if a bit wet, but it kind of put me off riding in the rain.

So, instead of a ride, I went to a Muddy Basin Ramblers rehearsal. In case you didn’t know, David has updated the site; it looks really cool. Go there for a visit. We’re hoping to have an album out by the end of the summer.

I sold my TV to my friend and Rusty the Cat’s mother, Chris. Her TV was kind of busted, and Futurama looks great on the new set. Slim and I moved the TV over on a trolley. You should have seen us two manly men, grunting and sweating to get the thing up her stairs to the fourth floor. Man, I’m out of shape when it comes to hauling awkwardly shaped things up stairways. Now I just watch DVDs on my computer. It takes some getting used to, but it’s nice to have completely paid off my credit card debt.

On Sunday I went over to Carnegies to meet with a few expat bloggers from around Taiwan, including the authors of Suitcasing and Doubting To Shuo. Maoman and Gus of Forumosa chaired the meeting, which was informal and often-interrupted by food and drink. Basically, they’re organizing a print/online publication and want to organize some content. It seems they’re interested in more Renegade Province-style fake news, but I’m not sure I could keep up. Maybe one article an issue or something like that. I made the point at the meeting that the current administration is basically coming up with far more hilarious stories than I ever could. Bastards put me out of business. Not that I was ever in business, but it sounds good. In any case, my laziness is a force to be reckoned with.

After the meeting petered out and we went our separate ways, I walked up to Sogo to redeem some coupons (got a new, mold-free shower curtain and the Matrix animated shorts on DVD) (yes, it seems I know the ingredients for a Good Time, eh?). On the way I passed by the old Chungking Mansions where I used to live. It’s still a nightmare of a place; I’m glad I moved out. It’s quite interesting, though, a little chunk of squalor plunked down right in the middle of one of the most expensive parts of the city. And yet there’s also something homey about the place, like a little whiff of Taipei how it used to be. They’ll find it hard to tear down, when and if they ever do.

Rather than going back home, I went to a cafe and did some writing on my Thinkpad while sipping a vanilla shake, occasionally glancing up to see ritzy people walking up and down Da-an Road, aka Fashion Central. After I ran out of battery I walked down the street taking pictures before going home. It was dry in the city; back in Xindian, it was raining.

posted by Poagao at 4:32 pm  
May 15 2006

A few days ago I got an email from a guy who was…..

A few days ago I got an email from a guy who was…well, screw it: here’s the conversation:

James Dunn to me
May 7
Hello, my name is James. I have recently created a website where
people can learn different languages online for free
(eLanguageSchool.net). I saw that you have a quality site related to
China. I think that your visitors might also be interested in learning
the Chinese language. A link to my site would be a good resource for
your visitors. For your convenience, I have written the code so you
can just cut and paste.

Learn Chinese Online

Thank you for your time,
James

Reply Forward

TC to James
May 7
Thank you for your message. My site does not actually have a whole lot to do with China. It does, however, have quite a lot to do with Taiwan. I see your point about learning Chinese, however, and will consider it.

-TC

James Dunn to me
More options 12:13 am(0 minutes ago)
Hi TC,
If you do decide to place a link on your website to http://learnchinese.elanguageschool.net, please drop me an email. Thanks.

From,
James

So, yeah, if you want to learn some basic Mandarin Chinese with Gubo and Palanka the Happy Pandas, have at it.

posted by Poagao at 4:18 pm  
May 15 2006

好久好久

好久好久沒有在此寫東西了. 現在氣象慢慢入夏, 幾乎每天下雨. 屋內都要開者除濕機才有辦法抗霉.

posted by Poagao at 10:15 am