Absolutely Not Your Monkey
I found myself in the vicinity of Taipei 101010101 the other day (ok, I went to see Torque…yeah, it kind of sucked, but I just couldn’t resist a movie with both motorcycles and Ice Cube), so I went inside to check on the status of the proposed Page One bookstore, which by coincidence had just opened that day. I went in and was immediately impressed by the vast rows of books, as well as the large percentage of English-language books. I went over to the sci-fi/fantasy section (which is larger even than the one at Silex books on Jinhua Street) and found, however, that the books weren’t in any particular order on the shelves, at least in those sections. The staff tried to explain to me that they were placed by series, but that didn’t make any sense. In fact, they weren’t in any order at all that I could discern, save for “first out of the box” order. The staff members I met seemed eager to help, though, and they found the book I had asked about, Fallen Dragon by Peter F. Hamilton, in a matter of a few minutes. On a whim I asked whether they had Counting Mantou. “No, we don’t have that yet,” the guy answered. “But we’ll have your book in soon, and maybe you can sign some copies for us then.”
“Damn, you know who I am?” I said, stupidly. I knew I shouldn’t have shaved off my beard. At least they, like Fnac, seemed willing to let me sign copies. Eslite said signed copies would be seen as “damaged” by their customers.
All in all, I was pleasantly surprised at how expansive the collection at Page One was. The brochure I picked up says the store is 25,500 square feet in size, and while it’s no Barnes and Noble, it’s far, far closer than anything Taiwan has seen so far. Now all the Vagina Mall has to do is fill the as-yet unopened third floor with electronics, music, video-game and motorcycle accessory stores and it might have a shot at becoming a real mall. It won’t happen, though, as every single entrepreneur on the island is too busy having wet dreams about the 18-30-year-old-female market.
In the meantime, it’s been solid gloomy rain pelting through the wet cold all week. It hardly even gets light out during the day. This is the worst kind of weather you can have in Taiwan (including typhoons, which can at least be exciting). The constant sound of rain can become annoying, but whenever it starts getting to me I just think about how glad I am that I don’t have to be out in it all day like some people do.
“A senior official of the Center for Disease Control (CDC) said yesterday that there would be no worry about a deadly bird flu mutating into a new killer disease spread between humans in Taiwan before the end of March.”
Because we certainly wouldn’t want bird flu influencing the re-election chances of certain presidential candidates now, would we? Nice of it to wait until after the election; such cooperative, politically aware flus are hard to find.
I was shocked when I woke up this morning and saw blue skies out the window. Sunshine and reasonably warm temperatures? I had to get outside!
Apparently most of the city of Taipei had the exact same thought, as I found out shoving my way through the masses of church-walking mouth-breathers at Bitan using my bicycle as a sort of cattle guard. The crowds thinned out as I made my way through the Air Force cemetary (I know it’s not very tactful to mention, but there are a lot more intact bodies at the Air Force Cemetary than I would have expected), and down through the little alleyways lined with traditional Taiwanese brick houses. I priced the rental of one house in the area at NT$12,000 a month a few years ago. After chatting with an old lady about the roads in the area, I decided to head up into the mountains. On my bicycle.
I think I can safely say my bicycling muscles are out of shape. On the steeper bits I had to get off and just walk, but eventually I made it up to the Gangster Village Apartments at the top. Traffic was heavy, the roads full of people made crazy for fresh outdoor air after weeks of being trapped at home, and I was going to get stomped if I stayed on the main road, so I ducked back through the complex and took a rough concrete path down the other side to another steep mountain road, the one that leads to the water treatment plant.
My situation had not improved, traffic-wise, but it wasn’t too long before I made a left at the T-intersection on the cliff overlooking the plant. I coasted quickly past a pedestrian couple having an argument of tree types, down to the plain across the Xindian River from where I live. It feels like a rural village in the middle of nowhere out there, and I was tempted to explore more, but the sun was setting so I headed instead to the ferry crossing. On the way across the river a couple of older men I was chatting with told me they greatly admired Bush’s foreign policy. I asked why. “Because Bush says he doesn’t support the referendum, but he doesn’t mean it.”
“Very clever, very subtle,” the other old man nodded. I tried to hint that perhaps Bush meant what he said and that the US probably just didn’t want to deal with a situation in the Taiwan Strait, but the old men weren’t having any of it. One of them just stopped talking to me, while the other tried to explain to me that I didn’t really understand the way Americans thought. “Nothing will happen, the referendum is only the beginning of a greater movement,” he said as he got off the ferry at the pier.
I shot a questioning look at the boatman as I hefted my bicycle to get off, but he just rolled his eyes. I guess he gets all types on his ferry, especially on weekends. I didn’t mind, though; it’s interesting to listen to other people’s opinions.
I cycled through more crowds along the river and over the twisting turning suspension bridge over to the Sandcastle to see Sandman’s new kerosene-powered space heater as well as his new Chinese medicine cabinet. His place looks nicer every time I see it. He had some friends over, and we went over to Athula’s place for some delicious rhoti before calling it a day. A nice day, in fact.
And now, according to the Central Weather Bureau, we are soon to be returned to our regularly scheduled weather, i.e. cold and rainy for the foreseeable future. Get your kerosene while supplies last.
Mark Hamill is interviewed about Comic Book: The Movie.
