Traffic in Taiwan
I have a theory about why traffic in Taiwan works the way it does.
Recently I have been thinking of reasons why traffic here is so
different than in most western countries.
Culture seems to behind at least part of it. For example, even the
most basic three-color traffic light takes on different meanings when
seen a Chinese cultural standpoint. For most Americans, Red means
Stop, Green Go and Yellow Caution. Pretty simple stuff.
But what compels people here to run red lights, stop at green lights,
and drive with complete disregard to traffic laws as well as a few
known laws of physics?
In Chinese culture, red is a good color. Prosperous, lucky....the
most "Go" color on the pallet. Red ushers in the New Year,
announces weddings, is pasted on walls with sayings for good luck and
in general indicates a prosperous, positive feeling for most Chinese.
So it's no wonder people are confused when, all of the sudden, red is
supposed to mean stop. Perhaps that is why so many people run red
lights. The light is actually begging them, subconsciously, to go!
The color green in Taiwan, however, is dangerous, ghostly and
threatening. It is the color of moss, corpses and, on occasion, the
Tamshui river, and to most Chinese, that means Stop, or at least
caution. Thus people are often seen stopped at green lights,
transfixed as if hypnotized, while traffic backs up behind them.
They're waiting for the warm, inviting red to return, so they can
speed upon their way to prosperity.
Yellow was previously the official color of the Chinese Emperor. In
ancient times, whenever the Son of Heaven was heard approaching, one
did everything in one's power to get out of the way and, if possible,
hide somewhere outside the Imperial Vision. This is why Taiwanese
drivers, when faced with a yellow light, bolt like startled rabbits.
Just let me outa here! is the cultural message conveyed by this
behavior.
It could also be that most people are so frustrated with the entire
system that they ignore it altogether and go with the system in which
they only go when everyone else does. I have been able to induce
stampedes through red lights simply by revving my engine a couple of
times.
As far as the sections of road between lights goes, other cultural
differences make themselves apparent. When watching traffic here one
is reminded more of a Taoist waterfall flowing than the mice-in-a-maze
feel of American traffic. Any space available is immediately filled by
a similarly sized vehicle, and the space between cars, motorcycles and
other vehicles is sometimes not much more than that separating water
molecules, even at considerable speeds. It seems that crashes are
about to happen at any given moment, yet they are surprisingly rare
and usually only occur when some uninitiated outsider, be they from
Nantou or Nantucket, attempts to force his or her view of traffic
regulation on this mysterious current.
So how does one move around in such an environment? I have found
that, in order to make the greatest progress in the Taoist traffic of
Taipei, pure speed is often inferior to smooth, clever maneuvering. My
motorcycle happens to be pretty fast, but when things get complicated,
traffic-wise, I tend to take the warp engines offline and instead
start plotting the quickest, smoothest trajectory through the slalom
created by the constantly changing positions and speeds of 127 taxis,
34 vaguely conscious pedestrians of the female persuasion wearing
extremely high shoes which induce balance problems when walking, 19
identical black Mercedes-benzes, 14 hopped-up Civics, 6 buses, 3 old
women on even older bicycles, and a partridge and a pear truck. None
of this can be done on a conscious level, of course. You didn't see
Han Solo debating which way to go around asteroids in The Empire
Strikes Back, and darting through all of the cars, taxis, buses,
bicycles and pedestrians seems to make navigating even the densest of
asteroid fields seem like a piece of cake. One should ideally look as
far ahead as possible and let one's subconscious, once properly
trained, make the decisions. The only way one's subconscious can be
trained is, of course, by doing it every day for several years and, of
course, surviving.
Certain makes and models of motorcycles, as well as patterns of
behavior, will almost certainly be ridden by bad drivers. Here are
some signs to watch out for:
The Majesty: This is a largish scooter invariably purchased by
younger males who dream that bigger means faster by can't quite come
up with the dough for a real ride. They charge ahead full throttle for
as long as they physically can, and to hell with whomever gets in
their way. The scooter isn't actually very fast, it's just that the
kind of people who ride it always go as fast as they can, with little
or not moderation. I wonder if there is a sticker on the dashboard
which assures them of survival in case of an accident.
Smokers: Almost exclusively male, people who smoke while driving
their scooters are almost always simultaneously in a hurry to get
somewhere while equally anxious to look like they are so cool they
have nowhere else to go.
Mobile phone users: These can be either male or female. Either way,
they are easily spotted as they will be traveling in a straight line
at around 20 kph, totally oblivious to the world around them as they
discuss the latest fashion trend or recent movie.
Foreigners on Yamaha DT 125s: These are rare these days, as the DT
has gone out of production, but it used to be that all foreigners rode
DTs as fast as the dirt bikes could go on the street, which wasn't
actually all that fast but did produce an impressive amount of sound
and fury, not to mention smoke. Both male and female foreigners would
chose the DT, and the females seemed even more arrogant about it than
the males, and that's pretty arrogant.
I don't intend to imply that males are worse drivers than females;
their styles are just different. Men on scooters tend to slouch and
weave in and out of traffic, or even around potholes or manhole covers
that are perfectly smooth, while women tend to sit upright, eyes
strait ahead, and drive in a perfectly straight line no matter what
the road or other drivers do. I have seen women drive straight into
perfectly avoidable obstacles because they apparently cannot bring
themselves to turn. Whereas men do so much weaving around they
inevitably collide with something even more dangerous than the pothole
they were trying to avoid hitting in the first place.
One of the most dangerous combinations is a male driver with his
girlfriend riding on the back. The man will inevitably be trying to
impress the woman with his driving prowess, even at the risk of
turning both into a puddle of blood. I can't tell what the results of
a woman carrying a man on the back of her scooter would be, because I
seldom see it happen.
Of course anyone who has attempted to navigate the streets of this
city knows that the idea of traffic lanes is one whose time hasn't
come to Taiwan. All of those lines of various interesting colors and
shapes painted on the road's surface simply don't make any difference
one way or another to the average driver. That would actually be the
antithesis of the Taoist Driving School people follow here, and
traffic would probably be much slower if people paid any attention to
them at all.
The problem with traffic in this city is, scientifically speaking,
that there are too many things on the road. The laws of Physics are
the only ones that matter to anyone, including the police, who for the
most part ignore traffic violations committed by vehicles bigger than
a scooter. Buses and trucks routinely run red lights, and cars are
free to run into motorcycles if they can catch them. But the
motorcyclist who dares drive on the sidewalk to find a parking space
or make a right on a red should have license and registration ready
for the inevitable ticket.
Sometimes not even the laws of Physics are heeded here. I could swear
that on at least a couple of occasions I have seen two cars occupying
the same space at the same time. And don't get me started on the speed
of light.
Recent initiatives to hike fines for parking in an effort to improve
traffic are nothing short of laughable. The only way to improve
traffic is to get rid of some of the vehicles and make sure the ones
that are left behave. As it happens, I have a sure-fire way of doing
just that.
If I were mayor, I would issue a law that allowed car thieves to
steal all of the illegally parked cars they wanted to, with a promise
that all of those cases would be relegated to the bottom of the
'unsolved cases' drawer in the basement of City Hall. Cats stuck in
trees would get more attention than these cases, and hopefully drivers
would get the message that parking two lanes out in the middle of
Tun-hua south road "for a quick business meeting and lunch"
would effectively be the last time they ever saw their black
300SE.
As for the problem of running red lights, I would install heavy steel
walls that would pop up out of the pavement when the light turns red
at all major intersections so that people would have a reason to stop,
other that 'ooh, I might get caught' which is statistically about as
possible as Annette Lu complimenting Jiang Zemin on his Taiwan policy.
Pedestrians would benefit as well, and drivers reassured by the fact
that two large steel walls blocked traffic from coming into the
intersection, could proceed at a faster rate, instead of worrying that
someone was going to lurch into their path. Drivers who actually hit
the steel walls would be required to pay all damages to their cars as
well as to the walls, if any.
Of course there would be huge protests by drivers saying that these
measures are unfair and responsible for several accidents wherein cars
were either stolen or ran into one of the barriers or both, but all I
can say is, if steel walls work at intersections, they'll probably
work around City Hall as well.