SOCIETY
Man finds finger in meal, wins prize
KAOHSIUNG
Factory worker Liu Hao-chuan, 37, was declared the lucky winner of
NT$50,000 yesterday after he found a human finger nestled among
his french fries at a local ‘Golden Tex’ restaurant.
The fries were part of a special “Gold Rush Meal”
which came with a chocolate sundae, yet Liu had no idea that the
meal also came not only with a human appendage, but a large amount
of money as well.
“I’d like to be the first to congratulate Mr. Liu on
his good fortune,” said restaurant manager Ellen Shu as she
slipped the NT$50,000 prize, safely tucked into an anonymous white
envelope, into Liu’s back pocket. “Not everyone is
lucky enough to find fingers in their meals. Only one in several
thousand people even find bones or intact fingernails, much less
complete and recognizable body parts such as fingers in their
meals.”
Liu is optimistic, however. “I’m going to eat every
meal at Golden Tex from now on,” he told the NFRP.
“One time my cousin found part of a rat in his burger and
won NT$200,000. Who knows? It could happen.”
ENTERTAINMENT
"D’Argo and Greg" premieres
LOS ANGELES
TV history was made again last night as the new series
“D’Argo and Greg”, made its premiere. The series
came into being after the “Farscape” franchise was
purchased in part by ABC after being cancelled by the Sci-fi
Network. Network executives immediately began searching for a
place for the show, but concluded that they could kill two birds
with one stone by taking the most interesting characters from
“Farscape” and placing them in other shows, especially
ones lacking any entertaining elements, in place of the more
irritating elements of those shows. In this case it was Dharma,
the annoying semi-hippie new-age blonde woman who played opposite
Greg in the previous incarnation of the show.
“We felt that the character of D’Argo would bring a
bit more conflict and cultural impact to the show, “ABC
Producer Rick Lestrom said. “We hope to bring in a whole new
character arc and hopefully recapture some Nielson points.”
In the first episode, D’Argo, played by Australian actor
Anthony Simcoe, shows up on Dharma’s doorstep after a being
accidentally ‘starbursted’ into our solar system. When
his female host complains about his taking up residency in her
crowded New York apartment, he cuts her in half with a long knife
and sucks out her eyeballs with his tongue. Then Greg comes in to
borrow a cup of raisins and discovers D’Argo kneeling over
the body in a scene that is at once both hilarious and touching.
Other former “Farscape” characters are scheduled to
appear in other shows as well. Chiana, played by Gigi Edgley, has
signed a contract for a season as the Alien friend on
“Friends”, while Aeryn Sung, played by Claudia Black,
will be captured after her escape pod crashes into the pacific
ocean, causing several international rights violations on a very
special episode of “JAG”.
|
TOP STORY
China declares independence
Nation openly declares intent to ‘go its own
way’
BEIJING
Chinese president Jiang Zemin stunned the world on Sunday with his
announcement that “China hereby declares that it is an
independent, sovereign state.”
“We are our own nation,” Jiang explained at a press
conference held for the statement. “We are not just the
‘manufacturing yard of Taiwan’, the ‘uncivilized
hinterlands of Hong Kong’ or the ‘backyard of
Tibet’. We have our own culture and our laws, and we intend
to take measures to defend our right to recognition in the
international community.”
Chinese President Jiang Zemin announce's Chinese formal
independence at a press conference on Sunday.
The statement resulted in confusion from many countries and
skepticism from the US, who sees it as a ploy to gain sympathy.
“The US is, as always, committed to the One-China
Policy” White House Spokesman Ari Fleisher said in a press
release issued this afternoon. “We cannot recognize the
independence of China and still stay true to the spirit of our
prior agreements with Taipei and Hong Kong.”
Jiang went on to detail plans to make Chinese the official
language of China, institute a new national anthem and create a
new flag with the Chinese characters “Zhong Guo” on
it. “No more of those ambiguous little stars. What is this,
a nation or a kindergarten?” the Chinese president said,
banging his fist on the podium.
The reaction in Taipei was mixed. Some government officials
extended a cautious welcome to the initiative, while opposition
parties expressed outrage that Beijing would take such a step.
Hong Kong Chief Administrator Tung Chee-hwa’s office issued
a staple application form letter to the press, fueling speculation
that no one actually works there.
UN Secretary Kofi Annan was quoted as saying in reaction to the
Chinese announcement: “I don’t know what Jiang’s
been smoking, but I hope he brings some next time he’s
around.”
FASHION
New, fashionable ball-busting shoes found useful
TAIPEI
When Cathy Huang bought her first pair of pointed-tip high-heeled
shoes last month, she thought that they merely represented the
latest fashion. But after only one week she found that they were
practical as well. “I can walk through just about any crowd
now, and while before I would find myself blocked in by arrogant
businessmen, now I can clear the way with just a few well-aimed
kicks,” she told a NFRP reporter yesterday.
Fashion experts agree. “These new shoes are not just symbols
of the empowerment of females,” raved Vogue Magazine
sub-editor Carolyn Lee. “They are also powerful,
ball-busting tools for dramatic demonstrations of the new social
order in an everyday environment.”
“More and more, men who are used to getting their way in
every respect are left groaning on the sidelines as women take
their rightful place at the forefront of fashion,” Lee
continued.
Huang has made impressions on her co-workers since her latest
footwear purchase. “She seems more assertive and sure of
herself. It’s amazing what a good pair of shoes can do for a
woman. I learned that from watching ‘Sex and the
City’,” said co-worker Kelly Yu.
Others disagreed. “It’s very unattractive,” said
Frank Meng, Huang’s and Yu’s boss. “She [Huang]
used to be such a good worker, always on time, never wasted much
time. But now she actually goes out of her way trying to literally
walk all over the men in the office. One time I asked her to do
some overtime and she actually hissed at me.”
“Bitch,” Meng continued under his breath.
Huang’s boyfriend, Shao Yong-chi, 30, being listed as in
critical condition at the Taiwan Adventist Hospital, was
unavailable for comment.
LOCAL POLITICS
Mayor vows to eradicate evil from city
Contributing Writer
TAIPEI
Taipei Mayor Ma Ying-jeou said yesterday that he would put an end
to evil in his city, setting himself a deadline of two weeks to
complete the task.
“In 14 days, there will only be goodness and harmony in the
city of Taipei,” Ma told reporters while he jogged through
the Taipei Detention House, which he was visiting to “see
the face of evil.”
The mayor said the centerpiece of the crackdown would be an
advertising campaign.
“You may already have seen my face on quite a few
advertisements, but you ain’t seen nothing yet,” Ma
said.
“From tomorrow, you will see me running, jumping, swimming,
rock climbing, bungy jumping, wrestling aligators and holding
babies three times an hour on every TV station and on the side of
every bus in the city. Evil won’t know what’s hit
it.”
Ma said he would also organize over the coming week for
helicopters to drop leaflets over the city publicizing the
crackdown on evil. The leaflets will feature Ma setting fire to a
car thief with the caption “Exorcized!”
The mayor will also use technology to get the message across. The
Taipei City Government has reportedly bought software that can
send mass e-mails, commonly known as spam.
Chien Ker-ming, head of the city’s Bureau of Communications,
yesterday sent to the media an sample of the e-mail, which shows
Ma flicking the switch of an electric chair to execute a female
prostitute to music from the Queen song “Another one bites
the dust.”
Along with the advertising campaign, the mayor is also targeting
the financing of evil.
“I’ve instructed the Taipei City Police Department to
triple the bribes they demand from pimps, pushers and other
sources of evil,” he said. “This way we can squeeze
evil out of the city financially. They will go running down south,
where the bribes are far lower.”
Evil was defiant yesterday in the face of the City
Government’s new initiatve.
“What’s he going to do, eh? Advertise us to
death,” said Ho Lin-feng, head of a gang that operates out
of Wanhua district.
|
|