I was at the bank this afternoon transferring rent…
I was at the bank this afternoon transferring rent money into the appropriate account when someone suddenly grabbed my arm. I turned to find an chunky older woman with a crazed look in her eyes. “Come with me and save someone!” she said to me. She looked too well-dressed to be a street person.
I looked at her hand on my arm, and then at her, trying to think of what combination of words would get her to go away the quickest. Drawing on my immense repertoire of subtle vocabulary, I said, “Go away. Now.” She let go and stalked away, muttering “Jeez, you’re weird. I just wanted to save someone.”
“I’m weird?” I said, turning back around. The teller was staring at me. “Why do you let people like that in your bank?” I asked her.
“Well, I thought she knew you.”
The woman had disappeared, but I noticed a policeman standing behind me. “If she wanted to save someone, she should have called you,” I told him.
“I saw her come in,” he said. “She’s getting worse lately. She used to come in and tell people they were going to hell if they didn’t vote for her.”
“Ah, she thinks she’s a candidate, huh? What a loon.”
“No, she was actually a candidate. But she’s still a loon.”
“You should stop her from harassing people,” I said, but the policeman, who I noticed carried a revolver, shook his head and gave an abashed smile.
“She’s a woman; I can’t lay a hand on her. If I do, she’ll cry rape.”
