Poagao's Journal

Absolutely Not Your Monkey

Feb 05 2002

One of the DJs on the radio this morning mentioned…

One of the DJs on the radio this morning mentioned that he witnessed Taipei’s first-ever car chase on Zhongxiao E. Road this morning. On my way to work a police car screamed by at high speed. Does this mean that Taipei’s policemen are officially allowed to have car chases now? Wow, add this to the coming entry into the market of larger motorcycles and watch you’ve got even more chaos than even Taiwanese drivers can handle, I think. Maybe I should start looking for a nice little place in the country. Maybe Beitou, Tamshui, Xindian or even Muzha. I know it may be asking too much, but I’d like a place of my own, near an MRT stop but also close to mountains and streams and the like. Someplace with a view but no road noise, fresh air and room for siamese cats. Oh, well, keep dreaming. There are more immediate problems at hand to be dealt with first, like my damn book and my next film project.

For some reason our company has decided that neither of our elevators will stop at my floor. Is this a message, a way of them telling me to lose some goddamn weight? I don’t think so, as there are a lot fatter people than me on other floors where the elevator does stop. I think they made the decision like they make all of their decisions, i.e. it was taking too long for the elevator to reach the Big Boss’s Floor, which is the top floor, and the Big Boss didn’t like being reminded on a daily basis how her underlings eeked by on less than a 20th of her salary. The solution was simple and obvious: rewire the elevators so that Her Top-floorness wouldn’t run the risk of being exposed to the palpable waves of disgust emanating from her recent decision to cut our bonuses in half.

Bitter? Me? You betcha. Bitterness is what this site is all about, at least for the last paragraph or so. I also take issue with the people coming in here and closing all of the blinds on all the windows, even though there’s no possibility of strong sunlight due to the thick cloud cover and rain. Taiwanese people just don’t like to see out of the buildings they happen to be in. I suppose this is a result of traditional Chinese architecture all facing inwards and all, but geez, people, we have this wonderful view and nobody wants to look at it. All they want, I assume, is the prestige of having a desk with a view, not the view itself, sort of like Beijing wants the prestige of Taiwan as part of the PRC, but not all of the trouble having Taiwan would bring them.

I can’t believe I just made that analogy. If anyone with any political prowess is reading this, please disengage your detonators. I’m not always like this. I can make sense sometimes, if I try really, really hard.

*tries really, really hard*

Ok. Paul, by far the tallest of the actors in the play I was in a few months ago, is having a New Year’s Party at his home in Keelung on the 9th, and Bret is having one on New Year’s Eve at his and Alan’s apartment out in Nangang for everyone who has no family here with which to spend that important date. Got that?

*gives up on making any sense whatsoever* Whew!

Ok, back to the zaniness! It’s time to Pick Poagao’s Shoes! (applause)

Yes, I am torn between two kinds of shoes. You see, it’s been raining here every single day, with no end in sight, and I am sick of wet feet. Because of my old knee injury, I like bouncey shoes that don’t jar, so I’ve been wearing Nike Air shoes for a long time. Problem is, my present shoes like to go swimming in puddles without my permission.

I think it’s time we got to the contestants:

The Crested Butte. This questionably named shoe is an extremely ugly way to cover your feet, with a harder sole, but it is absofrickenlutely waterproof. We’re talking near walk-on-waterness here. It’s got cushioning but isn’t as bouncey as I’m used to. It’s also about NT$1,000 more than…

The Pegasus Storm. This shoe (have to click on the name) looks a lot better, feels better, but is only water resistant, i.e. “Winterized”, whatever that means. Will that be enough? I have no clue.

So anyway, there you have it. There are more suitable shoes on the menu, but none of them are sold here in Taiwan. Let me know if you think I should buy the Butte, the Pegasus, both, or neither. I know I should be worried about more important things than shoes, fer cryin’ out tears. That’s where you, both of you, come in, helping me with the more trivial decisions in my life, freeing up my schedule for more important things like movies, video games and elbowing people out of the way in the subway.

Next week: Which color 7-Eleven umbrella should Poagao buy?

posted by Poagao at 9:20 am  

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