Poagao's Journal

Absolutely Not Your Monkey

Jun 13 2002

It was raining hard as I walked over to the martia…

It was raining hard as I walked over to the martial arts store on Nanchang Rd to meet Seamus and Dean. I was wondering how we were going to practice in such a downpour, but I needn’t have worried; the store was closed already. With sword practice not an option, we did the next-best thing: hopped in a taxi and went to Warner Village to see Episode II again. It was the third viewing for Dean and me, Seamus’ second. Only a handful of people were in the theater, so we gave it the MST3K treatment. Favorite moments included when we see Owen Lar’s girl Beru fixing drinks (“…and she never left that kitchen,” I said. “She spent 20 years pouring blue drinks,” Dean added) and when Obi-wan holds up the poisoned dart that just killed the assassin and says “It’s a poison dart.” Yes, folks, that’s yer famous Jedi deduction skills at work right there. We soon lost count after trying to figure out how many times Anakin makes his rapist face.

I had a great time. Not only was it fun knowing the film well enough to make cracks about it, I truly love that film more with each viewing. It just has style. We get to see the dirty streets of Coruscant, a four-armed short-order cook who sounds like Earnest Borgnine, the insect planet (“I’ll bet she wishes she had a big can o’ Raid right now,” someone said during the coliseum fight scene, which also included a monster who was the spitting-image of Dean’s cat, aka “Evil Cat”), Jango Fett, the hard-working single-parent bounty hunter, and Anakin asking Padme, as they lay on a field of wildflowers with waterfalls flowing in the background, if she ever gets that not-so-fresh feeling. We also learn that Naboo is famous for having the largest-assed pigs this side of the galaxy. I’d guess that Giant Pig Ass is the planet’s main export.

It’s all great stuff. It’s a shame most of the 30-somethings out there forget that they were a lot more easily impressed when they were seven. Some of us still are, I guess. Their loss.

Yesterday was tough. I was really hating my job, which was coming close to boring me into oblivion. The only thing that kept me from creating Vampire-shaped holes in the windows was the antics of Office Turtle as he explored the nooks and crannies of my desk. After work Maoman came over to see a movie. I wanted to see Blade II, but Maoman waved his hand and said “You want to see The Sum of All Fears…”

“I want to see The Sum of All Fears,” I repeated.

“Ben Afleck isn’t that bad an actor…” he said.

“Ben Afleck isn’t that bad an…..oh, come on, how weak-minded do you think I am?” I demanded. But the damage had already been done. We saw The Sum of All Fears, and you know what? I really didn’t think Ben Afleck was that bad.

Stupid Jedi mind tricks.

posted by Poagao at 3:18 am  

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